low points

I have made choices to be where and who I am: in school (and being successful in classes and in research), a teacher (with a fantastic reputation! I have my first graduating student this year - preparing for her senior recital... so exciting!), a member of a vibrant congregation (off all committees for now, but still involved with hymn-leading and part of the social network), 1/4 of a women's quartet (and we are really starting to have FUN!), a dog-owner (who else would keep me company when B is away?!), a friend (who can get by without them?), a runner (I need it for my sanity and sanctity...).

I also made choices to be in debt: buying a house (hello, 30-year mortgage!), going to school (the area between my chin and my shoulders is VERY valuable! still hoping to pay it off with the talents of my voice...), supporting my husband going to school (3 weeks to graduation! then we can start paying down that debt for real!), and living outside my ideal budget for the last 4 years while B has been not working.

There are some things I didn't choose. I didn't choose to be vulnerable to depression (oh, neurotransmitters, how I will always fight thee for balance). I didn't choose for my body to reject plans I made (like losing weight). I didn't choose to have an addictive tendency (I am beginning to consider myself addicted to food... that's a dangerous enough addiction for me). I didn't choose to have food sensitivities (coffee/caffeine, sugar, dairy, corn, ....).

I DID choose to over-commit myself this semester. I TRIED to stay balanced. But I think I just got burned out. Thank goodness the end of the semester is in sight, and I can take a breather for two weeks after that. It will be a VERY WELCOME breath of fresh air. I can almost taste it. And I WILL come back refreshed, invigorated, and ready to dive in again to the commitments I have made to myself and my communities.