End-of-Semester "let-down"

Since my last post was about Madison's first snowfall, I thought it was about time for a new one (now that we're past the snow time... over 100 inches later!)...

Normally when I finish a semester, there is a huge sigh of relief, and I often have an urge to sit around and do nothing for a very long time. During college (and even sometimes in high school), I often got ill from the let-down of stress once everything was done. Last fall, I didn't get sick. I was thoroughly energized and ready for my upcoming vacation to spend time with family in Iowa and Delaware. Now that the spring semester is over (for me - I sang my juries on Monday), I almost feel like there is a void. I have all these things to accomplish (crafts to finish, cleaning to start, music to learn, books I want to read, and a LOT of busy-ness at work with summer workshops quickly approaching!) but so much less structure. I like the lack of structure, but I know that the long hours at work will kick in (like yesterday, with a 9-hour day in the office. I only left my office to go to the printer, the bathroom, to ask questions of co-workers, and to run one errand in the Humanities building!). It's up to me to stay focused enough to do the things I want and need to do. That's scary, but less daunting than it has been in the past. The clarity with which I see my tasks helps me prioritize and really do things rather than wanting to run from my responsibilities. Does that mean that I'm becoming more of an adult?!

I also realized, while sitting and talking about various work issues with my boss, that I really enjoy working for her. She's about the best boss anyone like me could ask for. She lets me do my work without breathing down my neck, encourages me when I take on new projects (like Spanish-language music classes, for which I developed a proposal, plan, wrote a grant, and received the grant! more about that on another post...), and thoroughly appreciates what I do. It's not hard work, but I'm glad to be appreciated. It will be so difficult to tell her when I decide to move on, but I know that she will understand when it is time. I did finally learn that my GRE scores aren't too old for applying to the Interdepartmental Graduate Program in Nutritional Sciences. That's great news!

Listening

So I've been listening to my school colleagues over the past 4 weeks. We've sung for each other in Master Class and in Diction class (and will continue to do so throughout the next two years in various capacities). I am so amazed at the level of artistry that so many people have. There are people who, in their first year of a Master's of Music in Voice Performance, have what I consider to be a professionally full and rich sound. Already. I wouldn't be surprised if they could win roles in opera auditions if they went out for something in Chicago or New York yesterday. Even some undergraduate students have incredible, rich, full, and well-connected and well-placed voices with amazing expression. I wonder, hearing them, what they hear in my voice - and what my professors hear that allowed them to accept me into the program!

I'm not saying that I feel like a horrible singer, but I know that I don't have a huge voice (even though it's gotten a lot bigger, and a lot more solid, over the past two years). I don't expect to ever make a living doing opera, but it would be nice to get paid singing oratorio, or for weddings (and funerals?), or in churches, and to be part of an ensemble that gets to play concerts at least once in a while. I'm thoroughly enjoying learning music of Buxtehude and his contemporaries in my "Collegium Musicum" (early music ensemble) class - I feel comfortable with the repertoire and my voice doesn't get tired singing it. I hope that I can strengthen my voice to do operas in small venues, because it's so much fun! My internal reactions to hearing my colleagues, though, make me question whether those things will feel "enough" for me. I like to feel like I'm at the top - I'm kind of used to it (maybe not always in music, but in general I've always had a sense that I can do more and be more than the average person... and I feel like that sounds horribly arrogant, and it feels that way to admit it, but I don't feel like the arrogance is a part of that sense - it's just how I think I'm wired). So will I get enough satisfaction from singing the things I love to sing, even if it's not what most people in the world will ever appreciate listening to?

The musings continue...

a little complaining...

I really wish that I was more motivated to study right now. I think that I'm less motivated because I'm not at ALL used to ten weeks straight of school (who ever thought of putting spring break 2/3 of the way through a semester, instead of halfway?! seriously), let alone going to school and working full-time. It's tough. My heart goes out to people who work full time, go to school for time (which I'm not), AND have kids. I don't think I could handle that! (and don't plan to)

I'm looking forward to spring break next week! And Lisa Rose and Jeff are coming to visit - hooray! :)

Good news!

Last evening Andrea was greeted (at the Memorial Union, where she'd been working on a group project) by Brandon jumping up and down! Guess what that means!?!

Brandon was accepted to vet school!!! He'll have orientation starting August 20, with classes beginning August 29.

We're so excited, and so glad to finally know the general course of our lives for at least the next 4 years.

I think there is a conspiracy against our mailbox.

Yesterday, we didn't get any mail at all! Not even the annoying "Shopper Stopper" junk mail (advertising homes for sale around town, and with lots of grocery store inserts for grocery stores that don't make sense for us to go to because they're farther away and more expensive than the one just a mile from our home).

My theory? Brandon's letter for vet school either (a) hasn't been sent from the vet school yet, or (b) got stuck inside someone else's junk magazine, and was tossed away. It's so rare that we get no mail at all...

On the upside, I did dream THREE TIMES during the night (and it was a short night, because I watched an Italian movie for class) that Brandon got an acceptance letter. And my dreams have an odd regularity with concrete things like this of coming true (who's doubting his acceptance anyway? not me!).

So if anyone wants to see a kind of funny Italian movie (I relied on the English subtitles, but I understood more of the stuff I heard than I'd thought I would) that is set in the 80's with a bizarre ending, try to find "Notte Prima Degli Esami" (the last nights before the final exams). It's the story of a bunch of students who are preparing for the huge exams that students take at the end of "high school" and all the teen stuff that goes along with life (drugs, procrastinating, knowing more about sports than literary history, love, family...). The exams are a big deal, and pretty much make or break their life - and include both written and oral components (oral exams agains a panel - maybe like a doctoral dissertation defense style?). They remind me of the stress level of the British GCSEs and A-levels (for Harry Potter fans, that would be the O.W.L.s and the N.E.W.T.s), but having never completed those I can't really compare. Sometimes I wish I would have had to finish at least GCSEs. I think I would've learned to work consistently better that way, rather than leaving stuff till almost the last minute.

Which reminds me - I have a paper due Tuesday. My first paper since I graduated almost 3 years ago. Do I still know how to write a paper?!? I think so. I did a some research about 4 weeks ago, but I really haven't done anything since then - at least nothing that includes a written paragraph, or even a sentence... oh well! I'll work hard on Friday and Saturday.

But for now - I just have to wait and be patient for the end of the day, in hopes of Brandon's letter arriving in the mail.

It's Wednesday, March 7, 2007 and we're still waiting...

"Rumor" has it that vet school acceptance letters were sent on Friday. Brandon heard this from a colleague at work, and this colleague is engaged to a woman who works in the barns of the vet school (who also applied), and her boss affirmed that letters were sent Friday. Neither Brandon nor the other girl received letters as of Monday. Brandon still didn't get his Tuesday. We're trying to be patient... but I (Andrea) can tell he's anxious because he went to bed soon after 8pm last night to just read... that doesn't really happen. Ever.

I'm thankful that I already know that I'm officially in school! Now to just get financial aid figured out....

I don't think this is a typical "first entry" for a blog. Oh well. I thought it would be fun to have something more to distract me and to keep in touch with friends and family.